Marriage Counseling And Lesson For Every Christian Woman — Part 1
In this marital updates i am going to share a heart pricking and
interesting marital story for every Christian woman to learn, repent and
readjust their personal marital affairs because the terrible mistakes
been witnessed in below marriage story has destroyed and left many
Christian home broken due to ignorant and wrong counseling.
Marriage isn't a bed of rose but rather hard work, discipline and
commitment and there is no accidental fulfillment in marriage. You don't
expect a happily built marriage of love and peace without putting-up a
fight or commitment.
You must work it out the same way you always work-out your salvation
with fear and trembling. Because every successful marriage you behold
today takes a great deal of knowledge, wisdom and understanding;
cumbered with maturity and experience to built and sustained.
Marriage is mostly dominated with 80% of carnality and 20% of
spirituality and wisdom is always applicable before enacting 20% of it
spirituality due to some irritating and foolish Intel's it always
constitutes.
However the place of praying and fasting can't be neglects while
building a healthy and solidify marriage because the easiest way to
remotes or cause the heart of your partner to succumbed unto your biding
is through prayers; as it often said "family that prays together always stays together"
But there is also needs to applied wisdom while indulging in such
spiritual warfare while interceding for your marriage or family because
failure to utilized your whole responsibilities in the marriage at the
expense of fasting and prayers, the devil will takes advantage of such
mistakes and ignorance, and the last state of such marriage will be
terrible as been witnessed in below marital story i am about to share
with you.
Hence please take the lessons very serious and impact them into your personal marital dealings because the devil is always trickiest,
seeking for the destruction of marriage because he duly understands
that marriage is the root of a strong and healthy church of Christ. The
devil understands that the nearest way to Hell is getting married to a
wrong person and managing in your marriage instead of enjoyment.
- Marriage Counseling And Lesson For Every Christian Woman:
As soon as I cleared out the dinner table, I went into the bedroom, not
bothering to say goodnight to Kenny in the living room. I knew he was
going to be coming to bed soon enough. I needed him to think I was fast
asleep by the time he came to bed. I quickly got into the bathroom and
had a quick shower before climbing into bed.
I made sure I put on my long pajamas so there was no way he could have
easy access to my body. About an hour later when I heard him climb into
bed and turn the other way, I finally let out the breath I was holding.
I managed to escape the sex tonight. By the time I woke up the next
morning, I knew we were going to have another round of noise and fight
and I quickly said a silent prayer to God for strength. I could feel his
hand roaming round my body relentlessly and there was no doubt in my
mind what the expected end result to be.
I opened my eyes and took a glimpse at the clock on the wall. It was
just 6.am. I turned and removed his hands from my body and tried to get
up only to be pulled back. By the third time of going through the same
motion, he finally spoke up. ”Babe, what is the excuse today?
It has been 2 weeks for Christ sake. How am I supposed to be happy if
you won’t even have sex with me? ” He said with obvious frustration in
his voice.”So your happiness is now tied to sex?
You still don’t get it do you? I am doing this for us, for our home and
our future. I told you before I started that this was going to happen
and you agreed and now you want to make me feel guilty. Seriously I am
confused. ” ”Omololami, you know I am not opposed to prayer and fasting.
I love God too and I go to church but you cannot honestly expect me not
to have sex for the next 100 days just because you want to fast ” I was
so angry at that statement and I flared up, ” Seriously Kenny, are you
kidding me right now?
What happened to self control? This just shows how far you have fallen
from the faith. Is this not the same you that used to fast with me all
the time before we got married? So all that spirituality was a lie? Did
we not court for two years without sex? So you must have been cheating
on me. ”
”What? How can you say that? Are you crazy? How can you even compare
both scenarios? I was single then now I am married. Why did I get
married if I can’t have sex?” ”Oh so now I am a sex machine? You married
me for the sex?” I asked ”You know what, I won’t waste my time having
this fruitless conversation with you.
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I am warning you for the last time. I won’t take this your fasting bullshit and you will learn to respect me in this house. If this is the rubbish they are teaching you in church, I will ban you from going there” ”You wont dare Kehinde Ayorinde. You will not dare. If I ever have to choose between you and my God, trust me, you will lose. It is God first and you second. That devil that is trying to use you, will not find a place”.
”Try me, Lola, just try me” he said as he walked into the bathroom and
slammed the door. I walked out of the room and went into the kitchen
heartbroken. As I went about making Kenny’s lunch that he usually takes
to work I was so sad.
I didn’t understand Kenny’s bitterness towards my relationship with God.
I didn’t expect to have these kind of issues just 6 months after
marriage. He knew how much I loved God and how much that relationship
means to me and he was proving so difficult. We even talked about this
while we were courting and he used to tell me how much he loved my
passion for God.
We have tried getting pregnant for the past 5 months and nothing has
happened and I knew I needed to tackle it in prayer before 5 months
turned to 15 years and I told him I decided to join the 100 days fast in
church. Initially, he had agreed to join me but 3 days after he
stopped. I didn’t get offended.
I decided to do the prayers myself, I just did not expect him to be so
bitter about it. As I finished packing his lunch about 30 minutes later,
Kenny came out fully dressed and just walked past me without picking up
his food as usual.
I quickly ran after him and caught up with him just as he was getting
into his car. ”You didn’t take your food” I said. ”Take that rubbish
food and get out of my sight. I don’t want your food, now or ever until
you learn to respect me and until you decide what is more important to
you” he said and slammed the door, driving away while I stood there
mouth agape.
We had a lot of disagreements over sex in the last two weeks but I had
never seen Kenny so bitter before. I knew there and then I needed to
pray for my home, casting out every demon that suddenly possessed my
husband.
As soon as Kehinde left for work, I decided to take his matter to God in
prayer. I went on my knees and was lost in prayer for the next four
hours. ”Father, defend me in my marriage, cast out every demon that has
possessed my husband’s heart”.
Proverbs 21:1 says, “The king’s heart is in the hand of the lord, he turns it whichever way.
Oh God turn my husband’s heart away from sex and all things of the
flesh during these 100 days of fasting, in the name of Jesus.
Towards the end of my prayer, I suddenly got an inspiration from the
Holy Spirit on what to do next. There was no point trying to tell Kenny
he could not have sex with me, I only had to use wisdom to avoid it by
doing things that will not even get him interested.
So I decided not to have my bath the whole of that day. I knew how much
Kenny liked me bathing and all clean. By the time he got home around 7pm
that day, I made sure dinner was ready. I could not have been more
wrong because another argument ensued as soon as he came in through the
door.
”Madam, have you sorted out your issues yet?” he said. ”What issues Kenny? Please come and have your dinner”.
”Did you think I was joking? Did you think not taking your bath will
work on me? Or you did you think I will not know you enough to know that
not taking your bath is a tactic to avoid sex?” I was quite shocked and
kind of speechless that he immediately realized what my plan was.
”Kenny, please be understanding.
I need to consecrate myself to God”. I resorted to begging instead.
”Lola, get it straight, I am not asking you not to fast. What is wrong
with having sex between 6pm that you break your fast and midnight that
the next day starts?
That is all I am asking” he tried to negotiate. ”I am sorry Kenny, I
don’t believe that is good enough. I am supposed to be consecrated for
100 days. Having sex during that time just makes me feel unclean”. I
explained. ”What is unclean about sex between husband and wife babe? It
is totally biblical”
”See Kenny, you just need to be patient. I have just 85 days left and
then we can go back to doing the dirty”. ”Let me tell you something
Lola, this is the last time I will have this discussion with you. If you
cannot find a way to balance your marriage and fasting, then you just
might not have a marriage to come back to after your 100 days”. ”What do
you mean by that Kenny? God forbid such confession?” I said
immediately.
Kenny left me standing there and went into the room. My surprise was
complete later that night when he moved most of his things to the guest
room. I was going to beg him but i just later decided it was for the
best if he stayed in the guest room for the next 85 days.
This was probably God’s way of creating a solution for me. I went on my
knees that night and sang in gratitude to God for making a way for me
where I thought there was none. By day 60 of my fasting and prayer, I
was officially frustrated. The joy and excitement I got from fasting and
prayer had gone.
Kenny and I had become total strangers in the house. He had not eaten my
food in over 6 weeks and I was officially worried. He had started
coming home quite late and we did not even talk anymore. Every time I
tried to talk to him, he just shut me out. We both went to work and came
back and went into separate rooms.
I did not even know where to start from. I knew for a fact I had not
done anything wrong and was just doing the best for our marriage and I
wondered constantly why Kenny was so blinded by unreasonable rage.
I wondered where all the promises of not going to bed in anger went. I
finally reached the end of my rope that week when I got a text from him
around 8pm saying, ”Don’t wait up for me. I won’t be coming home
tonight”. I could not believe my eyes and I immediately sent him a text
saying, ” Where are you? Why won’t you come home?” His reply made me
burst into tears. ”Please ask the holy spirit to reveal it to you in
prayer”. My marriage is in trouble. To Be Continue In Next Part.